Ciao! I am Michelle Fabio aka La Mommy. You may or may not know me from Bleeding Espresso, my site about moving to my ancestors’ medieval hilltop village in Calabria, southern Italy. I’m still here, and since I have procreated (my daughter began her life outside the womb in October 2013), I thought it only right that my website should as well.
And Baby Espresso was born.
Let me begin by stating in no uncertain terms that I do not give espresso to my baby. Straight espresso for a baby, even a half-Italian one, would be insane — everyone knows that for infants, espresso must be mixed with frothed breastmilk in a baby-ccino. Derp.
Which brings us to the first thing you must know about this site. I type with my tongue firmly in my cheek, which is, of course, much better than with my tongue firmly between my fingers, because, whoa, talk about uncomfortable. And also potentially inappropriately sexual for a baby-themed site.
Secondly: You may or may not find what I write funny, insightful, or remotely enjoyable, but this matters not because Baby Espresso will heretofore serveth two purposes:
- Purpose the First: To allow La Mommy to let off some baby mamma steam and just have some fun writing again. I’ve been a freelance writer and blogger for about a decade now, and although humor seeps into my writing from time to time, I have never committed myself to “writing funny” as they say in the funny biz (no they don’t). Well, now seems like the perfect time to do so because if you (I) can’t laugh at yourself (myself) and the circumstances around you (me) as a new parent, well you’re (I’m) pretty much effed.*
- Purpose the Second: To prove to my kid that La Mommy used to have a sense of humor just in case she sucks every last drop of said humor out of me by the time she can read a site like this. I don’t *think* that’s likely at this point since my baby daddy** and I seem to have created a truly happy-go-lucky kid with a great sense of humor*** but you never know. It’s still early.
Thirdly: While I shall make all attempts to be grammatically and spellogically correct, I reserve the right to make up words at will, be inconsistent in thoughts and expression, and generally be silly. This is who I am, who I will encourage my daughter to be, and a big part of what this site is about. If you don’t enjoy tangents and silliness, this really isn’t going to be the place for you, and I can direct you to some of my more serious writing at MichelleFabio.com. Lots of legal-themed stuff there, lucky you. (I do still keep up my law license for heaven knows why.)
Fourthly: I am aware that the name “Baby Espresso” doesn’t make much sense if you think about it too hard, so don’t. It is simply a child (harhar) of my main site, Bleeding Espresso, which I started in 2006 but don’t keep up with horribly well because see: toddler. I do throw up some posts from time to time, especially as part of the Italy Roundtable, but I’m more active at its Facebook page. Baby Espresso, by the way, has its own Facebook page for mommyhood-related stuff, lots of memes and one-liners specific to my journey with M.
Fifthly: Um. Well. There really isn’t one, but I am strongly against lists with fewer than five items. Hey, we all have to stand for something or we’ll fall for anything, yanno? Feel free to quote me on that because I’m totally the first person to ever type it.
And yes, I did just notice that I only have two purposes listedeth above, which runs counter to my dislike for fewer-than-five-item lists. Please see point “thirdly” regarding inconsistency.
Thank you for stopping by. I hope you will laugh, chuckle, or at least smile as I share my impressions of being a new mom in rural southern Italy. I love comments and hearing your experiences as a parent, auntie, uncle, grandparent, etc., so please say hello if you find something you like.
If you aren’t amused in the least, please feel free to mosey on by without leaving any crumbs. I HATE CRUMBS. Yes, I do know motherhood is going to be very, very rough on me because of that, but I’m already training M to be slightly OCD about crumbs and crossing my fingers that it sticks. Ugh. Don’t get me started on sticky………
BECAUSE LAWYERS LOVE FOOTNOTES:
* There will likely be some moderate to heavy cussing as the need arises, though I tend to prefer to star out a vowel. I have no idea why because when I say them out loud (which I do with striking regularity), I enunciate.
** My partner is P. His name is Paolo, but I call him P online because it’s faster than typing Paolo every time I refer to him. His name is not a secret. We are not legally married, but I often call him my husband because that is a common thing here in southern Italy where we live – to call a long-term partner your wife/husband regardless of legal status.
*** My kid is M. Her name is Marisa, but I call her M online because it’s faster than typing Marisa every time I refer to her. Her name is a not a secret (and P.S. I don’t care if you hate the name). She is also the former Zee Bean (ZB) from her stint on the inside, and sometimes I still call her that, Zeebergeebers, etc. Do not be alarmed should this occur.
M’s favorite thing in the world as a five-month-old was the eight-second mark of this video:
Which is why I say she has a great sense of humor, because “dragon puppet says BLAAAAAAH?” Kid knows funny when she sees it.