My Morning Routine

My friend and fellow expat in Italy Sara Rosso was recently featured on the site My Morning Routine. I loved reading her answers and composing snarky answers of my own in my head, so I thought I’d share my morning routine here.

My sympathies to those who can identify.

What is your morning routine?

My morning routine begins with waking up to the pleadings of a little girl next to me for “Nee-nee,” which is our code for nursing. Then I stroke her hair, close my eyes tightly, and hope to hell she falls back asleep. She never does.

How long have you stuck with this routine so far?

The Tiny Dictator is a little over 22 months old, so just about that long. For the first year or so, it wasn’t “Nee-nee” so much as whimpering or poking and tugging at the source of the Nee-nee. Thank goodness for verbal skills.

What time do you go to sleep?

Usually about two hours after the One Who Hates Sleep finally surrenders. I find it takes me that long to wind down after the Bedtime Circus.

Do you do anything before going to bed to make your morning easier?

I usually do the Mom Sweep, you know, where you furiously gather up all the toys, shoes, clothes, food, and other detritus strewn about the house and put them back reasonably near their proper places. I don’t do it so that the house is clean but rather so the kid will have something to do, i.e., throw it all over the place again, as I prepare brekkie the following morning.

Do you use an alarm to wake you up in the morning, and if so do you ever hit the snooze button?

HAHAHAHA. No, but I fantasize about it.

How soon after waking up do you have breakfast, and what do you typically have?

As soon as possible I have coffee, usually made as the kid stares at the TV. And I am not ashamed. Brekkie varies greatly depending on what The Tiny Dictator is in the mood for, but usually some type of fruit, some type of carb, and some type of protein. And another cup of coffee or four for me.

Do you have a morning workout routine?

If I haven’t done the Mom Sweep the night before, that. After brekkie, I faithfully do the Get the Toddler Dressed Workout, which uses all the major muscle groups as well as most of my day’s allotment of patience in only five to twenty minutes! Who says moms have no time to work out?!

Do you answer email first thing in the morning, or leave it until later in the day?

I look at new messages in the morning but rarely respond at that point. The Tiny Dictator would not allow it.

Do you use any apps or products to enhance your sleep or morning routine?

Do cartoons count as apps or products? Those.

How soon do you check your phone in the morning?

My phone? Never. I barely touch the thing. I’m an iPad girl and if I touch it while the Tiny Dictator is watching, I lose all privileges until she (hopefully) naps in the afternoon so I do so surreptitiously while she is distracted by cartoons. Have I mentioned the importance of cartoons in my morning routine?

Do you also follow this routine on weekends, or do you change some steps?

Groundhog Day around here, folks.

On days you’re not settled in your home, are you able to adapt your routine to fit in with a different environment?

Groundhog Day around here, folks.

What do you do if you fail to follow your morning routine, and how does this influence the rest of your day?

Groundhog Day around here, folks.

To read more serious (and helpful) answers, check out My Morning Routine.