It’s not often I feel the need to take to the Interwebs to rant about an injustice I’ve seen on television,* but a recent experience with one of Marisa’s favorite cartoons has left me no choice.
I’m talking PAW Patrol here, folks, and things are about to get serious.
For the uninitiated, a brief summary: PAW Patrol features a group of rescue dogs (Marshall, the Fire Dog, is a dalmatian; Chase, the Police Dog, is a German Shepherd, and so forth). They live in and around Adventure Bay and are corralled by a young lad named Ryder, who has no apparent adult supervision and who summons the pooches to “The Lookout” by calling them via his Pup Pad whenever there is an emergency. It is there that they receive their assignments to fix whatever problem has arisen.
And here we arrive at my bone.
In one crazy episode clearly not based in reality, Ryder, the ten-year-old leader of the group, is presented with the problem of a missing barrel of peanuts. You see, Alex, another show regular who is younger than Ryder, was about to make a fresh peanut butter and jelly sandwich BUT HE HAS NO PEANUTS. Moreover, (I hope you’re sitting down) he has already poured “a whole glass of cold milk.”
Ryder’s response? He told Alex, with a condescending chuckle, that the PAW Patrol couldn’t help him as that was not an emergency. And then he blew him off to answer his phone.
I KNOW, RIGHT?
Have YOU ever not had peanut butter in your house when you NEEDED it? AFTER you poured the milk?
I dunno, Ryder is a nice kid so I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he’s just allergic to peanuts and didn’t want to make a big whoop out of it. Or maybe he doesn’t particularly care for Alex, and this was his passive-aggressive way to put that whipper-snapper in his place.
One thing that this episode made clear to me, though, is that the pups need to form a union to be sure their barks are heard. I’ve never met a dog who didn’t love peanut butter, so I’m thinking the gang would’ve gladly gone to bat for this objectively tried and true emergency if given half the chance.
Who speaks for the dogs, I ask you?
Next thing you know Ryder be working them to the bone and they’ll be fetching their own treats and sleeping right on the frigging floor with no dog beds.
Maybe you think I’m overreacting on this peanut butter business, but what if I told you that one of the most common “emergencies” judged worthy of Pup intervention by Ryder the Overlord is the missing effing chicken of what has to be the most dimwitted mayor of a city since a certain gal in small town Alaska?
I rest my case.
PAW Patrol First Responders Local 911, coming soon to a TV near you.
* OK, fine there was also that Daniel Tiger potty training episode, but that wasn’t so much an “injustice” as “disgusting and just plain wrong.”